By time you read this, I’ll be gone.

Out of LaSalle County.

Out of Lee County.

Out of Illinois.

Out of the Midwest.

Hasta la vista.

I am able to take one vacation for one week of the year after I scrap and hide every cent I can to make sure I can afford to leave, able to shower and eat while away, and have a home upon return. Man, life is expensive, especially the extra circulars.

This year, I’m going somewhere I’ve been before. However, I went to Nashville, Tenn. when I was 10. Which means, I really didn’t go because I don’t remember much and I didn’t get to enjoy what most people enjoy most in Nashville, the adult stuff.

Usually, my adventures are with family or solo.

This time around, it’s the first vacation with my girlfriend. She actually selected the destination and I happily obliged because, like I stated, I wanted to be an adult doing adult things in “Music City” and I wanted her to choose because I’ll literally go anywhere, outside of Nebraska (column subject for another time).

What’s awesome is she likes to do things. If you’ve ever met me, or read some of my columns, I can’t sit still unless I’m writing, am an adrenaline junkie, and have no fear of anything except dying without getting to experience and live as much as I could while breathing with an active pulse.

In other words, to have a partner who likes to be active and create memories, well, it’s why we’re together and going to Nashville.

We’ve booked a trolley tour, a dark secrets murder tour, a helicopter tour, a night at the Grand Ole Opry, a kayak adventure, and a visit to the Ryman Auditorium.

Plus, we’ll have plenty of time to walk around and stumble upon shenanigans such as JBJ’s Nashville. JBJ stands for Jon Bon Jovi, the lead singer of one of my all-time favorite bands, Bon Jovi. Yes, it surprises me also that I like Bon Jovi, but they’re awesome.

The mini form of Brandon once, Ok, repeatedly, was yelled at for jumping off of the couch onto previously prepared sprawled out couch cushions on the living room floor as he was mimicking JBJ in the “Born to be My Baby” video as he jumped on the stage with his guitar and landed on his knees.

Oh, the 80s. And youth.

We also plan to venture to places we have never heard of and eat food we have only seen on TV cooking shows. If I look like I’ve been packing on the pounds the next time you see me, well, I have.

Unless the kayak adventure helps shave them off, which I’m secretly, not secretly, crossing my fingers this happens.

The word vacation is kind of boring.

I like to say adventure.

Voyage.

Crusade

Shenanigans.

Because that’s what they should be.

The rest of our days, our work lives, our commitments, duties, responsibilities, can be important, boring, productive, and stressful.

And productivity, importance, and awesomeness (without the negatives) can happen on a journey somewhere away from home, this time Nashville, with an amazing woman on one arm and a drink in the other hand.

I may have to buy a cowboy hat.

Yee haw.