Not every word is easy to say.

Not every thought is easy to convey in the intended meaning or with the exact correct amount of emotion or passion or remorse or sympathy.

Not every word is constructed in the proper way or the politically correct or most meaningful portrayal on Facebook or other social media.

Sometimes we just don’t know what to say or how to say what we want to say. Even to our loved ones, close friends, or people we view at as more than an acquaintance.

These thoughts can be said for many things in life whether someone in your close circle or a person on a buddy list that has went through a breakup, earned a huge award or achievement at work or school, broke an arm or a leg, just started a new relationship, is getting married, is having a baby, was fired from a job, became sick, or any other life influencing, good or bad moment.

As someone who has gone through almost every one of the above events, and multiple occurrences of the next one, the worst one in all meanings of the worst one, is when someone dies.

Whether it’s a 95-year-old grandmother who was battling cancer, Alzheimer’s, dementia, diabetes, a pandemic, or heart disease, or an infant, toddler, grade-school-aged kid, teenager, 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s, 60s, 70s, who leave us too soon, it is the worst.

Hands down, not debatable…the absolute worst.

There isn’t a right word to console.

There isn’t a right word to grieve.

There isn’t a right word or way to understand.

In most instances, especially the tragic out-of-the-blue nightmares, it’s a blur of anger, sadness, depression, confusion, and to be honest, hatred.

“If there is a God, why did he do this?”

“What could we have done different?”

“This can’t be.”

“Why?”

“Why?”

“Why?”

Rarely is there a word, a thought, a sentiment which will truly heal or overshadow the loss. Grief comes and is handled in different ways by many.

I could discuss how I felt when my 3-year-old sister died when I was 10, or my best friend (I’ll call him my brother until I can’t speak or breathe anymore) died when we were both 21, or when close friends died during the COVID-19 pandemic (one from the pandemic, two in car accidents, another from a drug overdose), or when both of my great-grandmothers were overtaken by dementia and diabetes a few years apart.

The right words wouldn’t be said.

The legit needed words to honor them to justice or the words to help someone deal with their pain wouldn’t land with precise aim because there is no equated number, science, or equation for emotion or what human bonds mean deep down.

Flawless, faultless, error-free words needed to help you heal, through my stories, don’t exist.

And yours to me.

Although it seems like there is nothing to say to the heartbroken or words for the heartbroken to say, there is.

They won’t instantly change what happened or bring back their loved one. But they help let them know, you’re here, you care, and we’ll get through this together.

“I’m sorry for your loss.”

“You’re in my thoughts and prayers.”

“They’re in a better place.”

“They’re looking after you, your guardian angel.”

These are the ones said or seen the most, and there are countless other sayings or sentiments we use to reach out, to console. It doesn’t have to be a paragraph. It doesn’t have to be an hour-long phone conversation.

It just has to be support.

That’s a sign of although the lost are lost, and loved forever, there are still the here and there are still the to be found.

The words help more than people realize even though they’re not perfect and don’t change what happened.

For those grieving, hurting, and falling into a dark place, words can’t truly express what needs to be expressed, but there is comfort in all of them.

Keep your head up.